Welcome to my first post. I wanted to introduce myself, and explain a little a bit about my purpose for this blog.I am also not a writer, so there may be times where I seem like I am rambling (because I probably am :))
First of all my name is Shawn, I live in a small rural community in the northwest corner of Iowa. I am a registered nurse that is currently in school pursuing a masters degree. I have been working on this degree since 2009, but we all know that life throws us many curve balls, well in 2012 I was hit with one of those curve balls.
I have quite a large and somewhat divided family. When I say divided, I don't mean that we are at odds with each other, it is just a complicated story.
So, here it goes, I was married for the first time at the age of 20, from that marriage we had a daughter named Ashley, who is now 21. My husband had a son from his previous marriage D.J. who is now 27. D.J. and his girlfriend have 2 kids with another on the way due in March. My husband died when I was 22 from suicide, Ashley was 8 months old and D.J. was 5, as his dad died the week before his birthday.
Six months after the death of David, I met a man that would become my 2nd husband many years later. From that marriage we had a son Quentin, who is now 19. Mike had a daughter from his first marriage Elizabeth who is also 27. Her and her fiancee have 2 children Wyatt (7), and Natalie (5).
I became a grandmother although a step-grandmother at the age of 36. This was/is one of the most wonderful experiences of my life, both of those kids have such a hold on my heart, and love them wholeheartedly. I love all my kids, and would do anything for them, but the love for grand kids is different, and any grandparents know what I am talking about.
Well, now to the curve ball 2012 threw me. I had actually been in school working on my doctoral degree since 2009, and in 2012, I started to have trouble. I had been working full-time, taking full-time credits at school, with kids at home, and the demands of my time were too much for me, and I fell apart, literally. Including my marriage, in the summer of 2013 Mike and I separated. May of this year our divorce was finalized. We had been together for 20 years and suddenly I find myself alone.
Now the reason for this blog, I have been having trouble lately, an identity crisis of sorts you could call it. For so many years there was "us", now there is just "ME". My kids are all grown and have lives of their own, even though I speak to them almost everyday, its just difficult being by myself. Since our separation I had not attended church. I was invited by a friend- you know who you are to a bible study. From this study, I learned so much, and it literally blew my mind. Things that I had never heard in church, or at least things that were not talked about much. The Holy Spirit. From this study I had so many questions concerning my relationship with God. I will save the details for another post, because otherwise I will ramble.
The title "Perfectly Broken" is because we are created prefect in God's image, but we are all broken, and it is through this brokenness we can choose to stew in it and deal with it or choose to do something about it and use it to help others, because no matter what others say you are not alone, the things that you are feeling others are going through too. My hope is to bring people together to a safe place, where you are free to vent, talk, whatever you feel you need to do.
YOU are made for amazing things, YOU are beautiful, YOU are not a failure, YOU are the child of a KING. YOU are here for a reason, and have a purpose to fulfill. YOU are free because of the cross. Romans 3:22-24 says that "from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
May you all have a blessed evening,