Saturday, December 31, 2016

Heart Broken

This week on December 28th we said goodbye to one of the most beloved members of our family, Snickers. Although this was her official name, she only responded to "Baby Girl" because that is what I called her, she was a calico cat that we got when she was 6 months old. My kids are 21 and 19 and she was with us for a long time, the majority of my kids lives, and then she had become my whole world since my separation and divorce, as it was just me and her. She was my companion, I even talked to her like she was an old friend. As I write this, I am crying my eyes out, because she is so badly missed, she followed me everywhere I went, until she was no longer able. I still come out of my bedroom expecting to see her sitting on the rug outside the door waiting to be fed, or meowing at me to get up.

The wonderful people at the vet, who have cared for Snickers for many years also made clay paw impressions for us. This is wonderful, because Snickers was a unique cat, and her demeanor was not always pleasant, and two of the things that she hated us doing was petting her belly and messing with her paws, so for me this is a very special keepsake. On the other hand, she loved having her neck nuzzled as you can see my daughter is doing in one of the above pictures. I also would just lay my head on her to hear her purr. She also loved plastic bags, boxes and the sunlight.

In going through a few things, I came across a book that I had stuffed away. It's called Good Things Great and Small- a whole lot of reasons to be thankful, I came across one of the quotes that I am thankful for:

"Thank heavens for  wagging tails, 
I love them, the long, the stubby, 
the straight , the curly, the furry...
the happy, crazy, round- the- world wag,
the twirling-in-circles-while-wagging wag.
All of them. Every one. Every time. 
Because no matter what is screwed up
in my world, a wagging tail is always,
unequivocally a very good thing."
Jeannie Hund

I was so anxious and worried about making the decision to euthanize Snickers, that I was making myself crazy, and I didn't want to let her go, for my own selfish reasons. It suddenly occurred to me that with all the anxiety and worry, I took my focus off of God. When I finally did pray and ask if I was making the right decision, I felt a sense of peace. I saw her suffering in pain, and I was worried, 

Those of you that know me, know that I worry about everything, thus I am going to end on this last day of 2016 with my favorite bible verse Philippians 4: 4-7, and the beautiful thing about the title of this chapter in my Bible is "Joy in Giving":

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be
evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, 
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. 

This is my favorite because we all have worry, no matter the source or sources, but if we turn our worries to prayers. This is also the hardest to do, because our enemy wants us to dwell in our worry and anxiety so we do not turn to God. This was my lesson that I learned although in a painful way. 

I want to thank Sharon, Sam and Tiffany for the wonderful care of Snickers through the years, and especially the day we let her go. I am thankful that I was able to be with Snickers through the whole process, and I am comforted that she is no longer in pain or suffering. 

RIP Snickers 2001-2016


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